Epiphany 5 – 2022
Luke 5:1-11
Marian Free
In the name of God who is both immanent and transcendent, as close as breath and as distant as heaven, as demanding as forgiving. Amen.
In the wake of the death of Archbishop Desmond Tutu many people from many walks of life uploaded their memories online. Among them was journalist Giles Brandenreth who posted what (at the time) he thought might be the last ever interview with Tutu who was being treated for prostate cancer. (That was 2005!) It was in that context that Brandenreth asked: ‘When you get to Heaven what do you think will happen when you come face to face with God?’ In response the Archbishop shrieked. ‘Will I survive? You remember Gerontius? He longs to be in the presence of God and his guardian angel takes him to God and the moment he comes into the divine presence he cries out in anguish, “Take me away.” In the blinding presence of holiness, who would survive?’
Gerontius is a character in a poem written by John Henry Newman who, having converted to Roman Catholicism from Anglicanism, pens a verse to help explain the doctrine of purgatory. Newman uses Gerontius (who had died) as the means through which the reader might be drawn to consider their own death and their feeling of unworthiness before God. Towards the end of the poem the soul of Gerontius asks his guide if he will see God. He is told that for a moment, he will see the face of God, but that the sight will open a wound and heal the wound and widen the wound all at the same time. Acutely aware of how pitiful he is, Gerontius begs that rather than come into the presence of God he might be allowed to undergo purgatorial cleansing so that his sinfulness might not sully the perfection of God and the courts of heaven.
The notion of purgatory (which has no support in scripture) was one of the doctrines rejected by the English church at the time of the Reformation, but Newman’s understanding that being in the presence of God would leave a person feeling exposed is not his alone. Geoffrey Studdart Kennedy uses the same imagery in his poem ‘Well’ in which a person (finding himself before God) sees himself and his imperfect life through God’s eyes. When God finally says, ‘Well?’ the person responds, ‘Please can I go to ‘Ell.’ (He cannot in all conscience believe that he belongs in the presence of God.)
This sense of sinfulness or unworthiness in God’s presence has its roots in scripture. Many of the prophets respond to God’s call with a declaration of their unworthiness and here, in today’s gospel, Peter falls at Jesus’ knees and begs him ‘to get away from him’ because in Jesus’ presence he recognises himself as a sinful man. It seems that God’s very goodness has the propensity to make us aware of our lack goodness. In the presence of God’s infinite holiness we, like Peter, want to hide ourselves from sight, at least until we have been cleansed and made ready for the encounter, or so that we are in no danger of contaminating holiness itself.
This is similar to, but different from, the reaction that demons have to Jesus. They too want Jesus to go away but, in the case of the demons, Jesus’ presence is like a blinding light or burning fire that threatens to consume them. Unlike Peter they are satisfied with themselves and want to be left alone to their wickedness. In asking Jesus to go away, the demons are protecting themselves, whereas Peter mistakenly believes that Jesus needs protecting from him.
Jesus’ response is to reassure Peter. He does not pretend that Peter is perfect, but he makes it clear that Peter can serve him, and serve God, just as he is.
God is something of a contradiction. On the one hand God is transcendent, omnipotent, and unreachable, demanding of humanity the perfection/godliness for which we were created. On the other hand, God is immanent, relatable, and intimate, loving and accepting, constantly overlooking our foibles, and always drawing us back into relationship. This, of course, is what is perfectly revealed in the Incarnation (Jesus coming among us as one of us). The transcendence of God is balanced by the presence of God, the need to be accountable to God the creator is beautifully balanced by the saving love of the Redeemer.
In our relationship with God who is both transcendent and immanent it is essential to understand the tension between God’s expectations of us and God’s refusal to give up on us, to find a healthy balance between fear of God and over-familiarity with God. On the one hand we must acknowledge God’s holiness and our comparative lack of holiness. On the other hand, we must not assume that God simply ‘one of us’ with little to no expectations of us.
While it is important – essential even – to understand that we are completely and utterly and unconditionally loved by God, it is also important to remember that we have a responsibility to try to be the best that we can be and that we will one day be called to account. God loves us, but that doesn’t mean that God demands nothing of us. In other words, knowing ourselves loved does not mean that we should treat that love lightly. Knowing ourselves loved, leads us to want to be worthy of such love.
Approaching God with a true sense of holy awe (and an awareness of our unworthiness) is very different from the sort of terror experienced by demons or a sense of deep shame that prevents God’s love from reaching us. In every encounter between the created and the creator the first words spoken are always ‘Do not be afraid’ – the very words that Jesus utters to Peter in our gospel today. In the face of our alarm, awkwardness and embarrassment, God/Jesus reassures us that we. belong, we need not fear.
In the interview with Brandenreth, Archbishop Tutu questions whether he/anyone could survive in the presence of God yet elsewhere he writes that being in heaven is to encounter the unutterable beauty of God. In the presence of such beauty he argues, even an Idi Amin or Adolf Hitler would be compelled to fall down and worship and thus would gain eternity. Kennedy’s poem ‘Well’ concludes with the voice of God refusing the penitent entrance to ‘‘Ell’ on the basis is that hell is ‘for the blind, and not for those that see.’
So do not be afraid. Do not take God for granted but take it for granted that God’s love is constant and unwavering and, no matter the state of our lives or our hearts, God’s love will never, ever be withdrawn.
Tags: immanence, Peter's call, tension between awe and over-familiarity, transcendence
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